The Decade That Defines You

“Don't be defined by what you didn't know in your twenties ... be empowered by what you've learned since.” - Mignon Hooper

Our twenties are often called a time for exploration, self-discovery, and freedom. But what if we saw them as something more—a pivotal chapter in the book of our lives, shaping not just who we are today but who we will be for decades to come?

Meg Jay’s The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Still Matter—And How to Make the Most of Them Now reminds us that this critical period lays the foundation for our future—and its lessons are relevant no matter where we are in life. Whether you’re building a business, leading a team, or navigating personal growth, this book offers the kind of wisdom that transforms reflection into action.

Why This Book Belongs on The Coach’s Bookshelf?

I didn’t realize until much later how defining my twenties truly were. It was a decade of decisions, some that still hold me back and others that propel me forward. What I’ve learned from my own journey and the people I’ve coached over the years is that our twenties are a time when we unknowingly set patterns, habits, and beliefs into motion. Reflecting on those moments can unlock powerful insights for growth, healing, and transformation.

What Makes the Twenties So Defining?

In her book, Jay introduces the concept of “identity capital”—the experiences, skills, and relationships we build during this time that form the currency of our personal and professional lives. But what’s equally important is how we revisit and reflect on those moments later in life.

The choices we make in our twenties often carry the weight of our earlier experiences. Have you ever said, “I’m never going to do _______ when I grow up” or “I would never say that,” only to find yourself doing exactly that years later? These moments aren’t failures—they’re clues. They point to patterns rooted in our upbringing and decisions that deserve our attention. And when we pause to reflect, we can begin to rewrite those stories and break free from anything holding us back.

Learning from Our Twenties at Any Age

Here’s what I’ve realized: being myself is good enough to be great. But it took years to embrace that. My very first professional coach taught me this, though at the time, I wasn’t coachable—I was too weighed down by the “baggage” I carried into every room. It wasn’t until I studied personality profiles at 24 that I began to understand the complexities of how we deal with stress, trauma, and even joy.

We all carry something into the room, whether it’s a personal relationship, a classroom, or a boardroom. The key is to recognize it, own it, and begin to unpack it piece by piece. For me, that started with doing just one thing each day that was a promise to myself—a step toward building self-esteem and confidence. Because here’s the truth: self-esteem is directly tied to the promises we keep with ourselves. The more we honor those promises, the more we trust and believe in who we are.

Gratitude, Generations, and Growth

One of the most profound lessons I’ve learned is the importance of gratitude. As James D. Shaw, host of “Pivot Shift Ahead” a daily mastermind, says, “Use your biggest superpower—ask for help.” Gratitude starts with appreciating the efforts of those who came before us. Every luxury we enjoy, from food in our pantry to the technology we use, was made possible by the hard work of previous generations. But that gratitude doesn’t stop with us—it’s our responsibility to teach the next generation to honor the work that came before them.

Reflecting on my twenties, I now see them as a launching pad. But launching pads aren’t just for our younger selves—they’re for every age and stage. Gratitude, self-love, and helping others are the keys to moving forward with purpose and fulfillment.

The Change Starts with You

What can we do today to make the most of our defining moments? Be grateful. Teach the next generation. Be nice. Find happiness on the way to fulfillment. Be helpful. Love yourself so that YOU can love the world. As Meg Jay so powerfully reminds us, “The change we want to see in the world starts in the mirror.”

If you’re ready to reflect on your defining moments and take steps toward your best self, let’s connect. Whether it’s through coaching or connecting you with a trusted advisor, I’m here to support you on your journey.

Unlock the secrets to success—click here to dive intoThe Defining Decade and take your next big leap forward. https://amzn.to/4i9ApS5 (Audible)https://amzn.to/49rxUYZ (Amazon)